Having a random hookup so left but love u
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
