But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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