He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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