so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
