been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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