I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize