Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize