just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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