you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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