what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
