Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
