I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
