feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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