Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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