How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
