But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and you fell through a lawn chair
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
