Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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