Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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