Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
