WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
