Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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