Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
