like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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