Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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