did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
