just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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