I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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