I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
