I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
