Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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