i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
