Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
