i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
