Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
