yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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