What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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