Your tits are I can't wait for
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
