what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
