The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
