he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're like the curious george of whores
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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