he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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