I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
