don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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