I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
