I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
