just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
