You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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