wanna go halves on a baby?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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