It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize