That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
