so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
