dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
