I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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