my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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