clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
