You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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