Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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