i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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