Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
3 2 1 whiskey
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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