she was so not down for the gang bang
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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