pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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