ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
