One girl and one boy is just not enough.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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