it wasn't lemon gatorade
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Watching her eat just hurts me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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