You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
