How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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