So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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