do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
