i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You're like the curious george of whores
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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