He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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