handjob tips. give me some.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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