Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
